I need a job!

[BobDrye]

My Résumé

 

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

 

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

 

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

 

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

 

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

 

6. Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

 

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

 

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

 

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

 

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

 

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

 

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

 

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

 

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.