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Murder at Wal-Mart

 

So, here's the story. . .

 

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young

husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance

policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging

to have her killed.

 

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side

underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

 

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing

out a spouse was $5,000.

 

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't

have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

 

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man

opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar

as down payment for the dirty deed.

 

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super

Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &

proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands as the poor unsuspecting

woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........

 

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the

murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie

had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

 

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the

hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who

immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he

could even leave the store.

 

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the

whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the

hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

 

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...

 

 

 

 

 

(You're going to hate me for this ... )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'

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