thanks for the suggestions.
Driven - how would you go about grounding the starter relay itself?
Daniel - yeah, I'm not a fan either, the state is requiring I have one to pass inspection
Joe - that's a real interesting possibility, but I already have a switch in place, so now it's just the wiring and I think the gearbox switch will have me going through the same wiring exercise
I'll try the wire that should go to the starter solenoid from the ignition, it should only be "hot" when trying to start it. It's tough to see, let alone get to it. It looks like there are two white light gauge wires joining together attaching to the solenoid. I'll spend some time with a test light this weekend.