OJ Goes to Hell

[slngsht]

One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart attack and dies.

 

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

 

'I don't know what to do here,' says the devil. 'You are on my

 

list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay

 

here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple

 

of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them

 

go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide

 

who leaves.'

 

 

 

OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the

 

door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool

 

of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed.

 

Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing.

 

Such was his fate in hell.

 

 

 

'No,' OJ said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and

 

I don't think I could do that all day long.'

 

 

 

The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore

 

with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was

 

swing that hammer, time after time after time.

 

 

 

'No, this is no good. I've got this problem with my shoulder.

 

I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks

 

all day,' commented OJ.

 

 

 

The devil opened a third door. Through it OJ saw Bill Clinton

 

lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs

 

restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica

 

Lewinsky, doing what she does best. OJ looked at this in

 

shocked disbelief, and finally said, 'Yeah, man, I can handle

 

this.'

 

 

The devil smiled and said...

 

 

'OK, Monica, you're free to go'