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[slngsht]

April 26, 2010

Somali Pirates Say They Are Subsidiary of Goldman Sachs Could Make

Prosecution Difficult, Experts Say

 

NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (The Borowitz Report) – Eleven indicted Somali pirates dropped a bombshell in a U.S. court today, revealing that their entire piracy operation is a subsidiary of banking giant Goldman Sachs.

 

There was an audible gasp in the courtroom when the leader of the

pirates announced, “We are doing God’s work. We work for Lloyd

Blankfein.”

 

The pirate, who said he earned a bonus of $48 million in dubloons last year, elaborated on the nature of the Somalis’ work for Goldman, explaining that the pirates forcibly attacked ships that Goldman had already shorted.

 

“We were functioning as investment bankers, only every day was casual Friday,” the pirate said.

 

The pirate acknowledged that they merged their operations with Goldman

in late 2008 to take advantage of the more relaxed regulations

governing bankers as opposed to pirates, “plus to get our share of the

bailout money.”

 

In the aftermath of the shocking revelations, government prosecutors were scrambling to see if they still had a case against the Somali pirates, who would now be treated as bankers in the eyes of the law.

 

“There are lots of laws that could bring these guys down if they were,

in fact, pirates,” one government source said. “But if they’re

bankers, our hands are tied.”

[Off Road SHO]

Hahhahahahahaha, that was great. Did you make that up or find it elsewhere. Stupid funny nonetheless.

 

Tom

[slngsht]

Hahhahahahahaha, that was great. Did you make that up or find it elsewhere. Stupid funny nonetheless.

 

Tom

 

copy / paste... I'm not that creative.

[MHKflyer52]

Bad part is if they (the pirates and their lawers) though that they could convince the court they were acting as investment bankers and under the guidence of Goldman Sachs they would probabley walk free and then get federal money as a bailout.

[Off Road SHO]

Bad part is if they (the pirates and their lawers) though that they could convince the court they were acting as investment bankers and under the guidence of Goldman Sachs they would probabley walk free and then get federal money as a bailout.

 

Martin, If that was even remotely possible, then this would become reality:

 

http://www.somalicruises.com/testimonials.php

[Off Road SHO]

Bad part is if they (the pirates and their lawers) though that they could convince the court they were acting as investment bankers and under the guidence of Goldman Sachs they would probabley walk free and then get federal money as a bailout.

 

Martin, If that was even remotely possible, then this would become reality:

 

http://www.somalicruises.com/testimonials.php

 

Tom