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slngsht

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Posts posted by slngsht

  1. hey guys, i must be tripping... I thought I locked this one when he left (or did he start 2 threads?). At any rate, you can't please everyone... so gotta please yourself - wait, that sounds wrong.

     

    :seeya:

  2. An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

     

    The first passenger, Holly Madison said, "I have my own reality show and I am the smartest and prettiest woman at Playboy, so Americans don't want me to die." She took the first pack and jumped out of the plane.

     

    The second passenger, John McCain, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from an elite Navy unit from the United States of America." So he grabbed the second pack and jumped.

     

    The third passenger, Barack Obama said, "I am the President of the United States and I am the smartest ever in the history of our country, some even call me the 'Anointed One.'" So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out.

     

     

    The fourth passenger, Billy Graham said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life and served my God the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

     

     

     

    The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. Graham. There's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."

  3. Force someone to listen to one of Al Gore's lectures on global warming?

     

    ...

    It's a death penalty, not a sleep penalty.

     

    besides, global warming is soooo.... yesterday. Now it's climate change. Did you not get the memo?

     

    Here's the latest claim:

     

    http://lee.house.gov/dem-resolution-warns-climate-change-could-push-women-%E2%80%98transactional-sex%E2%80%99

     

    climate change (notice not global warming) -> food shortages -> prostitution ("transactional sex").

     

    Next we'll legalize (PC term for tax) these transactions. win win.

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