Pirate facts

[Mondo]

FUN FACTS ABOUT PIRATES

 

* Piracy started quite accidentally when one ship crew realized how fun

it was to board another ship while yelling “Arr!” and laughing heartily.

 

* Today’s pirates tend to have AK-47s instead of muskets which is

considered cheating. Don’t let a Navy SEAL catch you cheating!

 

* If you see a man with a long beard, it could be the fearsome

Blackbeard the pirate! If the beard is somewhat light colored, he’s

probably just a member of ZZ Top. Either way, use caution.

 

* If people plunder you on the sea, that piracy. If people plunder you

on land, that’s the Obama administration.

 

* Many pirates settled in Canada where after years of peace and maple

syrup, their “Arr!” faded into an “Eh”.

 

* No matter how much a pirate says to do it, he’ll actually get angry if

you shake his timbers.

 

* Piracy is covered by the United Nations Convention on the Law of the

Sea, meaning that, following an attack by pirates, the U.N. will debate

the issue for months before passing a resolution demanding that pirates

think about what they are doing, and that if the pirates keep being

pirates, the U.N. will consider passing another resolution.

 

* The United States has not ratified the United Nations Convention on

the Law of the Sea, meaning that if pirates capture a U.S. vessel, Navy

SEALs can shoot the pirates in the head.

 

* The pirate flag of skull and cross bones is called the “Jolly Roger”

because whoever decided to name it was really gay.

 

* The Marine Hymn lyrics “to the shores of Tripoli” refer to the U.S.

response to the Barbary Pirates in the early 19th century. If the Somali

pirates understood English, they’d have known not to screw around with

the American military.

 

* If surrounded by pirates, ask for “parlay”. That will give you time to

escape while they look that up on Wikipedia.

 

* If someone boards your land going vessel and steals it, that’s a

carjacker, not a pirate. You can still run him through with a cutlass,

though.

 

* A pirate ship can be recognized by the bumper sticker: “Pirates get

more booty”

 

* If pirates take someone hostage, you’ll probably get the person back

unharmed if you pay the ransom. You’ll also get the person back unharmed

if you shoot all the pirates dead, plus that’s cheaper.

 

* Pirates idea to bury their treasure ending up being quite a sound

investment strategy this past year.

 

* If you’re really worried about pirates, go to Taco Bell. I’ve never

seen one there, and I like their chalupas.

 

* The most famous historical pirates are Edward Teach (Blackbeard), Jean

Lafitte, William Kidd, and Willie Stargell.

 

* When fighting pirates, you may think the man with the big hat is the

leader, but it’s actually the parrot on his shoulder. Take that bird out

first!

.

* The plank is a result of pirates starting to build a second connected

ship and then just getting too lazy.

 

* Pirates are vulnerable to cutlasses, scurvy, and sniper-bullets to the

head.

[Hank]

There's a new Pirate moving coming out this summer. It's rated "ARRRRRRR!"

 

[solder_guy]

 

Rob

[plbs1234]

You know how much it costs a pirate to get his ears pierced?

 

A Buck an Ear!

[DeanG]

When the English took the head Edward Teach (Blackbeard) it was proudly displayed at Hampton point in Virginia. It always seemed odd to sail by that spot.

 

A historical footnote, Blackbeard was protected by the Governor of North Carolina. Odd how the pirate business hasn't changed all that much.

[GKANSA]

Pirates aint funnY NOT AT ALL ... I should know, im in the UNITED STATES coast guard. i HATE them. YES THERE ARE PIRATES IN MAINE A DIFFRENT KIND BUT PIRATES ALL THE SAME. PIRATES ( THE fictional disney ones) are the reason southwind25 and i started sailing.

[gjslutz]

Mondo, that was great!!!