The Government Job

[scannon]

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

 

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

 

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

 

"Have you ever been in the military service?"

 

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."

 

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."

 

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

 

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles"

 

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day."

 

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me here until 10:00 A.M.?"

 

"This is a government job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

[David C]

As an ex-gummint employee I resemble that remark!

 

There was a guy in our office who spent so much time sitting at his desk (remarkable since he was a lab person) that he brought in a recliner chair to sit in.

 

One of my supervisors, real nice guy, probably spent most of his day playing solitaire. If something went wrong and you needed him he was there but the rest of the time I don't think he had much to do.

 

But I've seen & heard worse in private industry - some of them remarkably industrious and imaginative in ways to not work. Some of them were let go, others kept around in the hopes that such imagination and drive could be refocused. And there was also some of the Hey-may-be-a-scoundrel-but-he's-our-scoundrel syndrome. One guy even ended up on some Judge-Judy type of show where he got well and truly reamed.

[WestTexasS2K]

That's funny.

[scannon]

It's certainly not limited to government workers. I spent my career in aerospace. At one large company I worked for they would have been better off to pay about 40% of the so called workers to stay home altogether. Not only were they non-productive, they got in the way of the few who actually did the work.

 

There were times I had to literally sit at someones desk and do their job to get the information I needed to do my own. These people were too busy politicking or just plain goofing off to do their own work.

 

It was discovered that one fellow in my department would come in early, clock in then leave for another job. Come back late and clock out and collect his eight hours plus some overtime. He actually worked at our company about 3 hours a day. They couldn't fire him until they caught him kiting checks between the various company cashiers offices.

[MightyMike]

I work for the government and work my ass off M-F. Where can I get one of those jobs?