dear...

[slngsht]

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

 

 

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping

through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

 

 

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

 

Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

 

 

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just

saying...

Sincerely,

Google

 

 

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF

happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

 

 

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle

 

 

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God

 

 

Dear Michael Jackson,

You really should have became a Catholic Priest. The pay isn't great, but

the benefits....

Sincerely, The Pope

 

 

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

 

 

Dear Nickleback,

That's enough.

Sincerely, The World

 

 

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely, Black people

 

 

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely, Sarah Palin

 

 

Dear Mary,

Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.

Sincerely, Joseph

 

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco....

Sincerely, United States

 

 

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely, Parents Everywhere

 

 

 

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely, Superman

 

 

Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

 

 

Dear Global Warming,

You're the best imaginary friend ever!

Sincerely, Al Gore

 

 

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely, Alcohol

 

 

Dear Mr. Gump

WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells

you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....

Sincerely, Jenny

 

 

Dear Haiti (or Japan),

Is it too early to ask what's shakin'?

Sincerely,

Seriously Going To Hell

 

 

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What

now?

Sincerely,

Leonardo Di Caprio

 

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some

Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

 

 

Dear Snooki,

GET BACK TO WORK!

Sincerely,

Willy Wonka

 

 

Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

 

 

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of

shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

 

 

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,

Terrified

 

 

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

 

 

Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

 

 

Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here

first.

Sincerely,

Dr. Pepper

[Croc]

Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

 

 

Did you hear what the elephant said about the naked man? Response: "How do you breathe through that!"