AndyB

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE HIDING UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT, THAT MIGHT GET ME. So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.” “Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink. “Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears.” ”How much do you charge?” “Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor. ”I'll sleep on it”, I said. Six months later, the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked. ”Well, eighty bucks a visit, that's $240.00 a week, $960.00 a month! For a year, is $12,480.00!!! A bartender cured me for $10.00.” “Is that so?” he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?” ”He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now!”

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her one word: comfortable." The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull."

Anyone know where can I find the green hammer finish paint to refresh my twin can valve cover?

crank er up!

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink." The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do." They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed." The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Doberman?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good." The bouncer said, "OK, come on in." The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in. Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed." The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog" The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?" The woman with the Chihuahua put on a puzzled look on her face and replied...... "A Chihuahua ? They gave me a f g Chihuahua?!"

A matter of perspective A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table -- but the man stared straight ahead. The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead. The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué, and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man, "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table." The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn't. She just walked in."

I just took delivery of what I believe is an old stock new in box shift lever gator/boot, I last replaced it in 2009. Is there anything I can apply to make it last a little longer or is it already too late bearing in mind the last time they built a GT6/Spitfire was 1980?

Nothing much has changed for me. I still smile when I see a large nut and bolt like 3/4" x 4" & a set of pram (stroller wheels).

I too like the look of the old clams but must admit that above 95mph on an open, windy highway my Seven becomes very twitchy.:driving:

No I was built for a Seven being only 5'6" with size eights so the humour is fine.

Yer! White wheels on White cars. Sorry, I never miss a chance to show off my Seven. http://www.pbase.com/sarrana/image/119068096.jpg

Where did they hide 1700lbs, must have solid rubber tires?

That is an ouch, I spoke with a guy 3 years ago who owns a Lotus Cortina he races and his 195hp twink left him with little change from $25000 and I thought that was rich.

Lotus Twin Cam tall block 1700cc with a few mods. Head is from a 63 Lotus Cortina.

The list of parts to rebuild my twin cam is complete and the order is in Ouch! Almost $4400. US + shipping. This does include new electronic alternator, gear reduction starter, Pertronix and electric fuel pump. But does not include machine shop charges or service garage charges for engine re & re. It's going to be a while before she's complete as some parts like pistons were special order. Hopefully she will be reliable and I can take part in some of the long distance runs.