Joseph Lucas "The Prince of Darkness"

[scannon]

* The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

 

* Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden, unexpected darkness"

 

* Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

 

* Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

 

* The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

 

* The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

 

* Lucas dip-switch positions: LOW and BLOW

 

* The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.

 

* "I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...

 

* If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

 

* Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

 

* It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

 

* Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"

 

* Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

 

* Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Lucas engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

 

* Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.

 

* Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

 

* Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of

Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

 

* Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

 

* How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.

 

* Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!

 

* Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.

 

* The Prince's last words to his son: "don't go riding after dark"

[yellowss7]

I think Lucas is now making Christmas lights. Out of about 20 sets that I tried to use from last year, exactly 5 sets worked. On the other sets, only half the string lit or didn't light at all. :cuss:

 

Yep, I'm sure that the lights are now being made by LUCAS.

 

Tom

[turboeric]

In the 80s, a friend of mine owned a somewhat tired Datsun 240Z. It ran well, but occasionally would refuse to run for no apparent reason. It was clearly an ignition problem, but all the components checked out. However, one of the coil wires disappeared through the firewall in an unusual way, so we traced the wire. It ended up under the driver's seat, where a previous owner had installed a hidden kill switch, presumably as an anti-theft device. The switch was faulty and would only connect intermittently. We weren't surprised when we noticed "LUCAS" emblazoned on the side of the switch housing. The only Lucas part on the whole car, and it failed.

[Mondo]

Rebuilt my Europa in the early 80s with some of the first custom hot rod wiring harnesses from "Painless"... new switches and everything possible.

 

Thought it was a good investment... only had a couple ground issues after that (fiberglass car and all).

[andrew7]

Brits have this part number memorized.