Golf Joke

[slngsht]

A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.

 

The first golfer said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the two-some. They were even after the first two holes.

 

The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"

 

The first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

 

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

 

As they were walking off number eighteen, and while counting his $80.00, the second guy confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.

 

The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

 

The pro got all flustered and apologetic offering to return the money.

 

The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

 

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

 

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."

[yellowss7]

Good one! I'm heading out right now to play a round. That one will get a few laughs! Thanks Tom

[MHKflyer52]

That is really a good one.

[powderbrake]

Four guys are playing golf, and the group in front of them is incredibly slow. Always looking for a lost ball, taking forever to putt, and there are two holes empty in front of them.

One of the gys whips out his cell phone and calls the clubhouse, and asks that a ranger be sent out to hustle the slow group along. The ranger shows up and listens to the complaints. He then explains that the "slow"group consists of blind men, any they only play occasionally, and the complainers should cut them some slack.

 

The first guy in the group, a priest, says, "We should be more caring, I will say a prayer for those poor blind fellows."

 

The second guy, a rabbi, says. "Father I will join you in that prayer, we must be compassionate to the handicapped"

 

The third guy, an eye doctor, says, " give me their names and I will see them for free, and maybe I an cure their blindness."

 

The fourth guy, and engineer, says "Can't they play at night?"

[powderbrake]

What are the worst three words you ever hear when playing golf?

 

Your still away.

 

What are the worst three words that you ever hear when having sex?

 

 

 

 

Honey, I'm home.