Banned from Walmart

[Z3 Stalker]

Banned from Walmart!

Didn't like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local Walmart store buying a large bag of Kibble dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Kibble Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Kibble nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Walmart. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

[lancylad]

At least now I know what food to have ready for you when we have you and the Missus over for a MEAL!!!

[pi7ot]

At least now I know what food to have ready for you when we have you and the Missus over for a MEAL!!!

 

Make sure your carpet is new and that the fire hydrant has a fresh coat of paint on it. :willy_nilly:

 

m

[ayseven]

Don't worry, give them your CV, you'll be hired instantly, and you can spend DAYS in there. Just be careful with the other oldies; some of them have wild imaginations.

[Guest Terry]

No we know what your problem is.

[Taber10]

Z3 Stalker,

Great story--Thanks! I'm also pretty much retired, and often inclined to give answers longer than necessary!

Taber

[lancylad]

Z3stalker always gives long answers, he,s a yorkshire man. They can't help it......

[Cyberbug]

Excellent - me and wife had a chuckle

[xcarguy]

Just ran across this post. Though I was going to wet my skivvies laughing so hard. I'm headed to WM for Kibbles.