Some classic engineer jokes

[Mondo]

Understanding Engineers #1

 

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

 

 

Understanding Engineers #2

 

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

 

 

Understanding Engineers #3

 

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets

[Kitcat]

Mechanical, electrical and civil engineer arguing about which category of engineer God is:

 

Electrical: He has to be an electrical engineer, look at the elegant neural wiring system he designed for the human body.

 

Mechanical: Nope he has to be a mechanical engineer, look at the ingenious system of moving levers, beams and flexible joints that comprises the human skeletal system.

 

Civil engineer: Sorry guys, he was obviously a civlil engineer, who else would put a major playground right next to a sewage dispsal system!

[xcarguy]

Play ground . . . sewage disposal . . . now that's funny.

[turboeric]

Times were tough for finding employment as an engineer, so Bill decided to look further afield. He saw an ad for an accountant and thought "I'm good with numbers - I'll apply."

 

When he got to the interview, he was dismayed to see the waiting area full of other engineers with the same idea. He went through the interview and answered all the questions. As he was leaving, the interviewer asked him "Quick. What's 3 x 7?" Bill panicked. He didn't have his HP programmable calculator with him! With great fear, he answered "22".

 

As soon as he got home, he grabbed his faithful HP and realized he'd given the wrong answer. He was gutted. And then, he was astonished when he got a call offering him the job. He hesitantly asked "What about the 3 x 7 question?"

 

The interviewer told him "Your answer was the closest!"

[MHKflyer52]

The interviewer told him "Your answer was the closest!"

 

Now that is funny.

 

 

Mechanical Engineer's get to drive the train. Civil Engineer's get to ride the train.:jester:

[Off Road SHO]

Now that is funny.

 

 

Mechanical Engineer's get to drive the train. Civil Engineer's get to ride the train.:jester:

 

Aerospace Engineers get to figure out devious new ways to destroy trains.

 

Tom

( Father of an Aerospace Engineer and one guy who will never ever ride a train )