scannon Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, maam," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The Sergeant Majors short reply was, "Yes, maam, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you dont take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!" She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didnt forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, its only 2130 now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manshoon11 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 now that's funny right there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcarguy Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 It's always 1700 hours somewhere. :cheers: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucky dawg Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Always love hearing a good joke for the first time. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NVP66S Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Real knee-slapper, that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihckb2 Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Military time.....good one. An elderly couple, who had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slngsht Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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