Mr Plod

[Guest Terry]

All the comments below have either been used by myself or by friends that I have been traveling with.

 

Mr Plod

"Do you know why I have stopped you sir?"

"Um, because your board and have nothing better to do?"

 

Mr Plod

" Sir I'm stopping you because your speed is excessive and dangerous"

"I disagree, however It certainly would be with someone with your talent"

 

Mr Blod

"Do you have any identification sir"

"Looking in the mirror, yes, that's me?

 

Mr Plod

"Can I see your drivers license sir"

"Sorry no you can't as technically I'm not the driver, my license only indicates that I'm an operator"

 

Mr Plod

"I'm stopping you sir because you aren't waring a seal belt" "Thats because this car doesn't have any, Mr Plod "don't get smart with me son" OK Dad then maybe you could buy me some, Mr Blod please get out of the car sir"

 

:driving:

[locost7018]

Say those around here and you will end up on the wrong end of a night stick! But funny anyway. Russ

[Croc]

Ok I will fess up here:

 

Encounter 1 [Australian desert outback]

Mr Plod: Excuse me sir but do you realize you were doing 230km/h in a 110km/h zone?

Croc: Yes, my father [in the passenger seat] said you guys never have radar traps out here so I could go a little faster than the speed limit.

Mr Plod: [To my Dad]: Is that correct? You told him to break the speed limit?

Dad: I don't recall that. I think I said that you c**** are usually at the pub and too pissed to work in the afternoons.

Mr Plod: Step out of the car gentlemen.

 

 

Encounter 2 [suburban Sydney Australia]

Mr Plod: [After a long and difficult discussion] If you had been more reasonable in this discussion I would have let you off with a warning about your speeding.

Croc: Yeah and pigs fly!

 

 

Encounter 3 [Maine - 1 day after moving to the US]

Mr Plod: What the f*** do you think you were doing? You were doing 120mph!

Croc: No I wasn't. It was only 120km/h on my dashboard.

Mr Plod: You are an idiot! I should shoot you! That is miles per hour!

Croc: Errrrr [sinking feeling]

[Alaskossie]

In the early 1960's, on a freeway in Rhode Island, my classmate Frank Hershenson driving:

 

Plod: "May I see your license and registration, please?"

 

(Pause)

 

Plod: Well, why were you going over the speed limit, Frank?"

 

Driver: "Mr. Hershenson to you, Sir!!"

 

Of course, Frank got a ticket.....

[scannon]

In the billiard room at the bowling alley where I worked during high school and early college years:

 

Plod: Why did you outrun me last night?

 

Me: Huh?

 

Plod: You ran the light making a left turn at Center and Main.

 

Me: It was after one AM and the lights had changed to flashing yellow. I didn't know you were back there, let alone chasing me.

 

The guys around the pool table: Laughing their asses off.

 

Plod, turning on his heel and walking away: I'll get you next time.

[Mondo]

Officer " I pulled you over for not coming to a complete stop at the intersection. Didn't you see the stop sign?"

 

Driver "You can't believe everything you read"

[turboeric]

I once got pulled over on a gorgeous, twisting, deserted rural road with an 80 km/h speed limit.

 

Plod: I clocked you at 110. That's going to be a charge of excessive speed.

 

Me: I thought excessive started at 40 over the limit.

 

Plod silently counts to 4 on his fingers, turns on his heel and returns to his car without a word. Comes back with a regular speeding ticket. Much cheaper and fewer penalty points. Made me smile despite the ticket.