scannon

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.' Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked. They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. ​ I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?' He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw ​.

The 1,800 cc engine and 5 speed transmission are from a 2000 Miata that had 18k miles on it. Internally it is all original. Mods include a Garrett 2560 turbo on an FM cast manifold, RC 550cc injectors on an FM dual feed fuel rail. It has a 3" stainless steel exhaust system designed by myself with some advice from Corky Bell. A Hydra Nemesis ECU controls the engine. The sump is the OEM wet sump which has effective baffles, never any oil starvation. It has dyno'd as high as 301 RWHP although the boost was turned down a few years ago and I estimate it is somewhere around 250 - 270 HP currently.

Bump.

The Best Divorce Letter, ever ! FIRST LETTER: My Dear husband: I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life! REPLY: Dear Ex-wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work any more. I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment...... and when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $299.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Paris , but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

My price is exceptionally high but I can be bought.:cheers:

More pictures.

In the interest of full disclosure here are pictures of the "warts" and some features on my Caterham. As I said in the first post it is a driver, not a garage queen.

Well-Planned Retirement Outside England ’s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant.....The fees for cars $1.40, for buses about $7. Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work,he just didn't show up; so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo's own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee. The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll. Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, or France, or Italy, is a man who'd apparently had a ticket booth installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars .....and no one even knows his name.

Hi Cole, Just buy some more pop rivets of both sizes, the black ones are a little harder to find but they are cheap. I think the factory should have installed those, my 2004 SV came with them installed but it was assembled to a rolling chassis by the dealer before I bought it, so I don't know if he had to install them. My washer tank was mounted on the passenger side firewall. I removed it and put an overflow tank in its place. Does the exhaust have a slip joint somewhere upstream? You may have to cut out a piece and re-weld. On the brake rotor clearance I *think* there may be a spacer missing between the inner wheel bearing and the spindle which would move the rotor out enough to clear or you might be able to remove the arm the tie rod connects to and use a thicker washer to move that arm away from the rotor. The seal on the windshield is now about 12 years old. You could try some rubber conditioner on it or order a new seal. The fender stay to tire clearance is larger than on my car with 205/50 tires. They can be bent before you mount the fender to them just make sure the mounting surfaces on both stays are in the same plane. Good luck with the build.

The car is licensed as a 2007 "Kit" with a Colorado assigned VIN. The original Caterham VIN is stamped on the car and still visible. The title is clear and I have the original MSO for the kit as well as documentation of the purchase of the donor car from the salvage auction. The Kit designation makes it exempt for emissions testing in Colorado. Optional is the Baby 7 as seen in the avatar. It is a hand built 5/8th scale of an original Lotus 7 by a race shop in Colorado Springs. It has a 3.5 HP 100cc 4 stroke engine in the boot with a centrifugal clutch, chain drive and is derivable. Top speed is 35mph. Price is $5k. Sylvester and trailer are included, he keeps over enthusiastic children from climbing in at car shows without permission and parental assistance.

Have I priced it too low????

Its spring and I'm also selling my Caterham SV. I built this car from a new 2004 roller in 2007. The engine and transmission came out of a salvage auction 2000 Miata with 18k miles. The car now has about 27k miles, I say about as it has had 3 speedometers over the years. You can see pictures from when it was first on the road at the link in my sig line. There have been many changes since then and a bit of patina. It is not a garage queen, but a solid reliable driver. Asking price is $35k The car has a regular windscreen as well as a pair of Brooklands screens From the above mentioned link with changes to reflect the current configuration: Engine: 1.8L inline four cylinder, DOHC, 4-valve-per-cylinder engine from a 2000 Mazda Miata, with aftermarket turbocharging. The battery is now located on the lower frame rail just forward from the location in the picture. Controls: Link stand-alone ECU (dual processor with keypad and laptop interface). Replaced with a Hydra Nemesis ECU in 2008. Induction: Mazda Miata intake manifold with 550cc RC fuel injectors. Flyin Miata (Garrett 2650) turbo and exhaust manifold, Track Dog Racing intercooler. Cooling: Bespoke racing radiator from England. with 1 Spal pulling electric fan. Exhaust: downpipe with divorced wastegate graduates to 3" diameter and flows into a 3" side pipe with glass-pack muffler, then divides into two OEM 2" tailpipes. Two other exhausts are included, side exit with Magnaflow muffler and a side exhaust with no muffler. Both are 3" stainless steel. Transmission: 5 speed Miata transmission. The tailshaft was modified for transmission tunnel clearance and to suit Caterham-style transmission mounts. 8.5 lb ACT flywheel, 2005 Mazdaspeed turbo clutch (hydraulically actuated). Custom driveshaft fabricated from a Caterham rear weld yoke and U-joint, and from a Miata splined yoke combined with an RX-7 front weld yoke and U-joint. 2" high strength steel driveshaft tube. The Miata shift lever comes up through the OEM Caterham shift boot. Rear axle: the car retains the Caterham deDion rear suspension, with Caterham-supplied British Ford "Sierra" 3.92:1 ratio gears and differential carrier, but with a Quaiffe limited slip differential substituted. Caterham supplied struts stabilize the differential. Front Susp.: stock double A-arm with Caterham (Bilstein) adjustable for height coil-over shocks and sway bar. The steering wheel has a quick disconnect coupling. Rear Susp.: deDion semi-independent rear suspension with adjustable for height coil-over shocks, Watts links on both sides, and an adjustable sway bar. Brakes: Caterham supplied 9" disks on all four wheels, 2-pot calipers on the front, single pot calipers with parking brake on rear. No power assist. Wheels/Tires: Two sets: 7 x 15 Chapparal Panasport style wheels with 205/50-15 Dunlop Direzza tires. and 7 x 15 Kosai K1-TS orange wheels with 205/50-15 Dunlop Direzza tires. I had adapters made to use 4 x 100mm wheels on all four corners. Much easier to find than 4 x 4 1/4" wheels. Body/Chassis: The only unusual or irreversible modifications to the chassis were two holes cut in the transmission tunnel to allow access to the Mazda speedometer sensor and the neutral switch. The standard roll-over structure was upgraded to a cross-braced, thicker walled "FIA approved" bar. A five-point, 3" racing harness was added on the driver's side for track day use. Multi-layered spacecraft insulation was placed under the carpets and a heat shield was installed in front of the driver-side foot box. It will not cook your feet. The color is BMW Laguna Seca Blue and all of the paint except for the louvers on the bonnet are covered in 3M clear bra. Weight: just 1,338 pounds wet. (with 1/2 tank of fuel). Electrical: motorcycle headlights on lower mounts and popsicle parking-light/turn-signals. Caterham supplied rear lights. Tachometer, speedometer, oil pressure, water temperature and fuel level gages. The only audio system is the exhaust. The ignition switch has been relocated from the steering column to the dashboard, and a home has been found for the Hydra engine management system under the dashboard. Weather gear: Full OEM top and side curtains, Soft bits bikini top, full tonneau cover. Lots of other spares and accessories are included with the car. Completed: road legal in July 2007. Optional at no extra cost is the Caterham Butt Extractor (or I will remove it) More pictures to come tomorrow.

It is a short car but not as short as the spare tire posing as the LF wheel would suggest.

This is one of the Pur Sang Type 35 Bugattis, a replica so true to the originals that it is accepted by the Bugatti clubs. The owner is not a car event type of person, the car is one of his daily drivers. It is in the local Ferrari shop getting some additions to make it handier for longer trips. Note the rifle scabbard which contains a couple of umbrellas and can also carry a Winchester.

https://www.pca.org/news/2017-04-01/porsche-announces-panamera-woodie-special-edition

http://www.automobilsport.com/cars-tuning--37,162655,Lotus-Pet-Lids---Protection-for-four-legged-friends,news.htm

A DOG NAMED SEX By Morty Storm Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Boy.” I call mine “Sex.” He’s a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to city hall to renew his dog License, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like one, too!” Then I said, “But this is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was 9 years old.” He winked and said, “You must have been quite a kid.” When I married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, “You don’t need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don’t care what you do.” I said, “Look, you don’t seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Funny- I have the same problem.” One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. “But, you don’t understand,” I said. “I had hoped to have Sex on TV.” He said, “Now that cable is all over the place, it’s no big deal anymore.” When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “The courtroom isn’t a confessional. Stick to the case, please.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me, too.” Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.

With a little folding and cutting this is how my front plate is mounted on the hard to see black chin spoiler. Three of my cars have similar treatment and never a problem with the Colorado cops.

Amazing display of triple kite flying by an 80 year old man. https://www.youtube.com/embed/nr9KrqN_lIg

Gr8 pl8

The theme of LOG37 in May is celebrating the 60 years of Lotus 7s (and other LSIS). Check out the logo near the start of this video.

Welcome Walter M. How about some pictures as the build goes along? Where are you located?

Mother Nature has a perverse sense of humor.

Mine showed up today. Great shirt.

Stark raving mad. The Cayman is the only current Porsche that interests me.