I always liked this one:
A woman is speeding down the highway. She sees a cop on a bridge with a radar gun so she slows down. Sure enough she gets pulled over and gets a ticket. The cop asks before she leaves, "What seems to be the big hurry?" The woman replies, "I'm just late for work." The cop says, "Oh yeah well what do you do?" The woman says, "I am an @$$hole stretcher." The cop then says, "An @$$hole stretcher, what kind of job is that?" The woman says, "Well you see i start off with one finger then two and so on until I get a 6 foot @$$hole." The cop says, "A 6 foot @$$hole, what can you do with a 6 foot @$$hole?" The woman replies, "Give him a radar gun and put him on a bridge."
D'OH!
I flew to San Antonio, TX to purchase a new car. After leaving the dealership I was pulled over by a Texas State Trooper in a shiny Camaro Z-28. He gave me a ticket for 84 in a 70. My insurance agent had bonded me for insurance (over the phone), but I had no proof with me until I got back to Louisiana. The cop gave me a ticket for no insurance as well. He was nice enough to let me continue my journey home, however. I get home and post on a local message board, and one of my friends suggested "deferred adjudication". I mailed a copy of both tickets to the address on the back of each ticket. I included a letter which talked about how wrong it was to speed, deferred adjudication, and a little bit of kiss @$$. The infractions were reduced to no proof of insurance (even though I provided proof in the letter). No points on my record, and the fine was cheap.