for the engineers out there

[wemtd]

A video about engineers in the corporate world.

 

[slngsht]

:rofl:

[coffee break]

As a retired engineer, that was painful to watch. It's hard to soar with eagles when you are surrounded with turkeys. :puke:

[fastg]

I am currently working on this very project:)

 

Graham

[randychase]

Way too accurate. One big reason I went on my own way many decades ago.

[turboeric]

I've been in meetings like this. "You've doubled production - well done! Now, why have costs gone up?":rolleyes:

[xcarguy]

I am currently working on this very project:)

 

Graham

 

I have red and green markers if you need them. :jester:

[wemtd]

Cheers!

I can't claim to be one myself. But come from a long line of boffins - and feel your pain watching this.

[raceral]

I may be retired for over a decade now, but if that didn't bring back memories of calling project implementation meetings and having a dozen engineers show up from various departments and companies to assign ownership responsiibilties.

The end result usually another half a dozen meetings just to clear up the first meeting.

And people ask why everything costs so much:deadhorse:

 

Al

[NVP66S]

Engineers in the corporate world? That painful video reminded me of when I worked for a government agency (no, I won't say which one). The corporate world that I live in now as an engineer actually makes sense.

[scannon]

Redneck Engineer Challenge

 

 

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called " smart " Yankee to take this exam:

 

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

 

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane

(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle

© '64 Pontiac GTO

 

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

 

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser's will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

 

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

 

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

 

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

 

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

 

 

I betcha thought that this test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?

 

It's okay if'n y'all didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya .... There's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus for taking the " RED NECK CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece....

 

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them ! ! ! ! !

[coffee break]

2 (B) There ain't much metal in that thang. :ack:

[john hennessy]

1. if the possum is playing possum then this might be a critical calculation but if the possum is in fact dead, then who cares, but they cook up real sweet

 

2. i think the chevelle because it's the newest and 64, 65, 66, 67 and 68 chevelles have already rusted away, but them tires sure hold the shingles down in a wind.

 

3. none, you just lay a pipe in the stream to condense the mash vapors, two fingers of red eye barkeep,

 

4. not enough so the trees never get cut down.

 

5. this depends on which country and western songs are played on the radio that particular day and if the pickup truck broke down that day.

 

6. only if the man has a 200 amp supply to the power pole and there's enough room with the coutch, the gym equipment and kids toys

 

7. very possible but the muffle was not a muffler, it was a bunch of catalitic converters that were cut off unsuspecting motorists cars at the new out of town mall parking lot to weigh in at the scrap yard.

 

8. less than 9 months but when he decided to hitch to dollywood there were no cars because they were all on the interstate.

 

redneck tip, don't forget to rotate the tires on the house ever 3000 mile or once a year.

Edited July 2, 2014 by john hennessy

[NVP66S]

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asked one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

[DeanG]

Nice!