Now that's a great logo!
I think we could solve all this hoopla by just having your choice of who patted you down. I mean really, just have a bunch of gorgeous gals and guys in their early twenties and in great shape, standing in a line. You could then choose your patter downer. Just think of all the starving college students and movie star hopefuls we could keep employed, not to mention people would think of just about any reason to go fly somewhere. I think tipping could be involved too, weed out those that can't learn how to pat down properly.
Tom