Davemk1 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I live in a small city of about 30,000 people and this means that one tends to know much of what’s going on in their local community so when I was driving my little sports car (a 1999 Birkin S3 Lotus Seven clone) through town and came on a wild, white, mid 1980’s, Lamborghini Countach parked in an awkward place under the I90 overpass, it stuck out like a sore thumb. The car had Montana plates on it so I guessed it to be a local but it seemed really odd that I’d never seen it before. How could a white Lambo, with its massive V12, funny doors and huge scoops never have been seen or noted by any of my car friends before in our little town? Odd. I drive by and note that the Lambo is ½ on the shoulder and ½ in the lane of traffic in a vey busy and dangerous intersection and I can see that there are two people in it. It just seemed so wrong. If the car had died why weren’t they pushing it out of the way? I spun around ¼ mile later and drove back past and it was still there, with two people still sitting in it in a place where a semi was going to come around and just roll over the thing. So I pull over and climb out of my tiny Seven and go over to offer to help the driver push the car up the road 150 feet where it could be fully, and safely, off the road. The driver awkwardly opens the supercar door and I ask him what the trouble is and he says the car is running hot and that they stopped to let it cool down. I share my concern about where they are parked and offer to help him push it out of the way – it’s the least one car guy can do for another. He manages to climb out as I go round to the rear of the car and I note his passenger is getting out too. He’s 40ish but high mileage, tall and very lean, dressed mostly in black leather. He doesn’t look like the kind of guy who would own a classic Lamborghini – but then again I don’t really know what a Lamborghini owner should look like. He joins me at the back of the car as his passenger makes her way out. He and I start pushing before she gets back there to help us and I really don’t get a very good look at her at this point. The guy is in the middle, I’m on the left and his passenger is on the right and we push. I’m nervous about being out in traffic and that no one is steering the car that’s now rolling but it’s pointed in the right direction so I just push. The car comes to a stop in the entrance to a driveway of a local hot rod and body shop and I start really looking at the people I am with. He looked pretty strung out – like there were meds he was supposed to be on but wasn’t, and she was something else altogether. She had the classic biker gang chick look and had spent a lot of time in dark bars, bright sun or both. She was tall and thin and had black, black hair, weathered skin and the look like she was hungry – I’ll bet she was very pretty at some point in the past. Then I noticed what she was wearing. She wore painted-on black leather pants and a string of beads vest that biker chicks might normally wear over a tank top…..but there was no tank top…….just strings of beads and bare breasts. I tried not to stare but as everyone knows this is nearly impossible and she was clearly enjoying the attention, and oddly, so was her male companion. It seemed the way the strings of beads were parted by, and hung up on, her nipples and I recall thinking it must feel funny to her. Trying not stare I force myself to make eye contact with the guy and ask him what’s wrong with the car. He says it’s overheating. I suggest we open up the engine cover and take a look at the coolant level. This seems like a novel concept to him as the struggles to find the release for the lid. I ask if the car is fuel injected or carbureted and he tells me plainly that he doesn’t know. I’m thinking ‘how in the hell can you not know?’ – if it’s got carbs there’s going to be 6 whacking huge carbs sitting proudly right on top of the engine. This is something you can’t miss. He gets the cover open as I sense the near topless woman is right behind me. I do my best to subtly move away from her to take a look at the engine – fuel injected it turns out. The driver now seems less concerned that his car is ‘over heating’ as I look at the coolant level (normal) and he starts telling me about how he won the ‘best import’ class at the local Belgrade MT car show – I’ll bet he did since he probably put his car up next to a clapped out rubber bumper MGB or something of the sort. I’m still focused on the engine (it’s HUGE) and once again I sense the woman close to me. I turn to see just how close and realize that her vest, and its overflowing contents, are pretty much pressed against my back. The guy is clearly enjoying this more than I am. Now I’m a simple small town guy who isn’t the most knowledgeable in the ways of the big bad world but even I could tell something didn’t smell right here. A supercar, parked oddly by the side of the road, which seemed to have nothing outwardly wrong with it, being driven by someone missing his meth and a woman with nipples harder than the beads not covering them, makes a distinct impression. This just ain’t right. At this point the woman and I are playing a slow game of follow the leader around the big white Lambo while the guy tells me he’s always wanted a Countach and it’s a dream come true. The guy is pretty much standing in one place while the woman does her best to get close to me and we make slow laps of the big car. I’m still in boy-scout mode asking about the car while trying to figure out how I’m going to get the hell out of there. I finally tell them that things seem to be fine with their car and start moving toward mine. The woman, I think sensing her pray was going to escape, drops any attempt at being slow and subtle and rushes to my car declaring loudly she wants a ride in it. She has run to it, bouncing her vest off her bouncing tits the entire way and I note some old guy in a Camry breaking his neck trying to get a better view as he drives by. I, for an instant, see the scene through his eyes and get even more scared. She arrives at the Birkin just before I do and stops dead trying to figure out how in the hell to get in it. She’s standing at the driver’s side looking down where her little leather butt wants to be but can’t figure out how to get it there (if you’ve ever tried to get into a Seven you’d know why bank robbers don’t use them as getaway cars) and this is my chance to squeeze by her, get in the car and speed off before I end up being the inspiration for an episode of CSI being chained to the wall of a storage shed out behind a trailer in some very rural part of Montana. At this very moment, the owner of the hot rod body shop comes walking out to see what the hell is going on in his driveway with a Lamborghini and Seven being parked there (what an odd sight really when you think about it) and the three of us awkwardly milling about. Lucky for me the two Lambo folks get distracted by fresh meat and this gives me the time to drop into the Birkin’s seat, sitting right on top of my hat and the four point harnesses, push the start button to fire it up, and pull away. As I’m making a tight U turn in the drive to get on the road the woman instinctively faces me and leans back to give me one last good view of her bare tits with strings of beads in her cleavage. Seconds later, I pull onto the road I see the two of them leading the hot rod guy over to the Lambo so he can have a look and ‘help them.’ I got home and my wife sweetly asked ‘how was your drive?’ and I didn’t quite know where to start. I never saw that car again nor did I ever read of a hot rod body shop guy going missing so I guess it all turned out well. I also never heard of any supercar owners turning up dead in a basement chained to a cage so who knows where they got that thing. The take home lesson is if you see a white, mid 1980’s Lamborghini Countach, with Montana plates, parked oddly by the side road, approach with caution. dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powderbrake Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 First thought is " some guys are lucky" but as a second thought, that is a scary situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkEMark Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 All I can say is "wow".... and great write up. I think you should be writing crime novels Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaskossie Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Dave, Did you have some really spicy food for dinner last night? Seriously, in a small town like Bozeman, this episode sounds like the beginning of some movie plot. Definitely a Seven drive you'll not soon not forget! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slngsht Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I kept waiting for the punchline. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davemk1 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 No punch line - this really happened a few years back and a friend who knew the story compelled me to write it down. I suspect that the two good folks did something upstanding like sell meth and they had some money and blew it on the car they knew nothing about...........and then used it to try to get guys to come home with them. Odd stuff. dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scannon Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Great story. If it had been a Diablo I would have been much more concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manik Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Didn't happen without pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcarguy Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Dave, I know for an absolute fact that your story is true......that's the kind of s%#t you can't makeup. And Quentin Tarantino would have a field day with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croc Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) I think this sinister thinking is just too much. You missed out on a great opportunity to have a menage a trois with the couple (i hope I don't have to translate that to Montanese?). They were trawling for talent. Obviously you were a monumental catch as everyone knows that penis size is inversely proportional to the size of their car/engine size (unlike brain?). The lady was slathering over that possibility - the sun, moon, tides and nipples were clearly in alignment that day. Their playbook was: you get mesmerized by her dual headlights on full illumination, you are completely poleaxed by her dual fuel tanks moving in to allow you to perform a full mechanical inspection - Roadkill is in her sights on this country road. cross-eyed from the proximity to her magnificent...ummm...double airbags which were primed to go off in this crash scenario you 'rise to the occasion' by producing a magnificent spanner which is quickly noted by the couple as they gaze lovingly at your ...errr.....tool kit and after some "compliments" on the downforce produced by your aerodynamic appendage a suggestion of a sporty drive emerges, whereupon a quick jaunt back to the motel with the girl arrayed in your seven (no overheating by the Lambo on that trip I bet and it was lucky you had leather seats - her crossflow leaks wipe right off), followed by you and the girl opening procedings while the gentleman leans back to watch the action which lights up his 'stogie.' The GoPro was probably already installed and fully charged to get some "on-track" action as Sir shows how to drive his seven. It could have been Fifty Shades of White (Lambo). I think I will write the screenplay and make lots of money. There was no chance that they would have picked up a Porsche driver - everyone knows women prefer a hard driving seven to a flat six! ETA - apologies in advance for those of sensitive dispositions, inferiority complexes, V8 drivers and Porsche posers...:jester: ETA2 - Actually, why don't I apologize to the entire forum now since I probably have offended everyone! Edited February 12, 2015 by Croc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitcat Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Somehow ended up at work 2 hours early, and this was a great way to start the day:). Sure would love to have seen those beads! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TurboWood Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I was hoping for a "Super Trooper" ending Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FE07 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Just got into the office where the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is front and center on my desk. This thread is much more fun!! Mike- me thinks Mr Croc should be your new pen name for the 'erotic' novels you could pen. Too funny. Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcarguy Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 . . . . . apologies in advance for those of sensitive dispositions, inferiority complexes, V8 drivers . . . . Yep, you had to do it didn't you? . . . . Had to try and slip the V8 comment under the radar. That earns you to toe-tap emoticons, Mr. :toetap05::toetap05: I suppose we V8 drivers will have will have to start calling our cars Strokers instead of Storkers. :jester: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcarguy Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 . . . . Sure would love to have seen those beads! Oh.......I don't think it's the beads you want to see. :jester: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davemk1 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 Oh.......I don't think it's the beads you want to see. :jester: Trust me........neither the beads or the breasts they struggled to cover were really something anyone really wanted to see! dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croc Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I suppose we V8 drivers will have will have to start calling our cars Strokers Given I own two V8s myself would that mean I would use both hands by your definition? :blush: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusaNostra Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Although I'm catholic --- DO YOU HAVE PICTURE OF THE TITS? I'm visual guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CASwede Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Somebody wake up the gimp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davemk1 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 Although I'm catholic --- DO YOU HAVE PICTURE OF THE TITS? I'm visual guy. what?..........catholics aren't allowed to like tits? dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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